Our Story

In the quaint town of Timber Ridge, where the trees whispered secrets of the past and the soil held memories deeper than its roots, there thrived a peculiar family business known as Hannon Land Clearing and Excavation. The Hannon clan, with biceps as robust as oak trunks and beards that could sweep the forest floor, were rumored to be the direct descendants of none other than Paul Bunyan himself. And if you ever doubted their lineage, one look at their work boots—size 22, wide—would make you a believer.

The family patriarch, Big Dennis Hannon, is a man of few words but many actions. His idea of morning coffee was a hot cup of melted asphalt to “clear the throat,” and his handshake was known to recalibrate wristwatches. Alongside him worked his son and daughters.

Their business operations were nothing short of spectacular. Each morning, the Hannons would gather, flex their muscles (a necessary equipment check), and set off to their latest project. Locals often joked that the family didn’t need heavy machinery. Once, when a particularly stubborn boulder defied conventional removal methods, Dennis simply glared at it until it split in two, out of sheer intimidation.

Then there was the incident with the supposedly haunted forest. Legend had it that no machine nor man could clear the cursed timber without facing the wrath of spectral lumberjacks. The Hannons, however, saw this as a family reunion. With a harmonious blend of chainsaws and laughter, they not only cleared the land but also reportedly set up a picnic with the ghosts, exchanging stories about Paul Bunyan and the good old days of land clearing. The ghosts were so entertained that they decided to move on, realizing they were missing out on an eternity of fun.

Marketing for Hannon Land Clearing and Excavation was as unconventional as their operations. Their slogan, “We’ll clear your land with our bare hands, and if not, we’ll still make it grand!” was accompanied by a logo featuring a cartoon Dennis arm-wrestling a bear. It was an instant hit, and soon, people from neighboring towns began requesting their services, eager to meet these modern-day Bunyans and perhaps witness Dennis arm-wrestle something else—like their in-laws.

However, not everything was about brute strength. The Hannons were also known for their gentle touch with nature. They’d relocate worms with the care of a jeweler handling diamonds, and Pete (with Repeat echoing) would apologize to each tree before cutting it down, promising to plant two in its place. This eco-friendly approach won the hearts of environmentalists and tree spirits alike, the latter often seen cheering them on from the sidelines, pom-poms made from leaves rustling in the wind.

As time went on, Hannon Land Clearing and Excavation became more than just a business; it became a local legend. Their exploits were discussed at dinner tables, featured in the Timber Ridge Gazette, and even turned into a series of children’s books, “The Gentle Giants of Timber Ridge.” While the truth about their lineage remained as murky as a foggy morning in the woods, one thing was clear: the Hannons had the strength of Paul Bunyan and hearts just as large.

And so, in the land where tales of yore blended seamlessly with the buzz of chainsaws, the Hannon family continued to clear and excavate, leaving behind not just cleared land, but stories that would be told for generations to come—tales of laughter, eco-consciousness, and, above all, the importance of family.